Growing Pains.

Originally I wanted to create a three word post. One that I thought might sum up exactly how I was feeling, and leave it at that- and this is what it was going to say:

GROWING. UP. SUCKS.

But then I found a problem with that three-word simple post. I realized that there are pieces of me that strongly want to grow up, want a home and a husband and all that comes with those things. So I decided to elaborate...

As I come off of an absolutely fabulous weekend and into an incredibly difficult case of the Monday's, I have to stop and ask myself "How can I go from one extreme to the other?" and more importantly "Why."

Everything about this weekend was so incredible. From spending time with newly-made friends to laying in bed for far too long on Saturday morning to shopping at Menards (yes, I know I never thought I'd say it either), I was constantly smiling, continually laughing and frequently thinking to myself I wish this never had to end. Yet,  such is life that each weekend must come to an end- and mine did too, leaving me with a horrible feeling of bleh in my body. I'm currently trying to figure out how to combat the extreme sadness I feel at the commencement of every weekend- after-all, it can't be healthy to have a heavy heart and feel on the brink of tears beginning each week. I wonder to myself, how could I stop these Monday blues from creeping up on me so strongly each Monday morning and I cringe at how pathetic I sound.

In life you have to work for a living. You have to have a source of income that exceeds your spending (bills, rent, food, entertainment, travel, desires...). You have to have something that somebody else wants, whether it be a good, a service, or whatever else might generate a paycheck. Somebody has to take money out of their pocket and put it in your pocket for life to keep on keeping on the way we live. And I understand that. I'm not naive to the idea of work, nor am I oppose to it- I just hate the Sunday morning "I have to get up and go to work tomorrow and I'm dreading it" feeling. Yet everyday the world spins, the clock moves and people get out of bed at go to work- day, after day, after day, after day...

So maybe I have yet to be involved in something that draws me out of bed in the morning eager to get going.  Or maybe I have a lack of motivation to get through my day because what welcomes me at the end of it isn't what I desire. Or maybe, I have too little to look forward to (dinner with a special someone, a game, some relaxing by the t.v, bed). Or maybe my case is a combination of all of these things.

Whatever the case may be, I am now- after 23 years of life- finally figuring out why people stress the importance of finding meaning and passion in your work, and someone to fall into the arms of at night. Or at least a strong dose of one of those, if not both.

So as it stands, my life circumstances may not be the epitome of a desirable, wonderful, fairy-tale life for me. They may cause hard goodbyes and extreme cases of happiness-hangovers and Monday blues. But, maybe growing up actually doesn't suck, maybe growing up is a beautiful part of life that just comes with a whole lot of growing pains.