Gratefully blessed.

I need to take a moment to talk about the power of really good friends. I decided to take a break this week from my second job, and focus on my social life, and renewing my spirit by spending time with the really important people in my life as well as catching up with the ones I can't physically spend time with. I was feeling a strong need for the presence of the people who make my life better by just being a part of it, and I knew that unless I made a point of purposefully blocking time out in my life to do it- it would be something that I would continue to lack.

Let me say at the end of this week I am feeling refreshed, renewed and really really blessed. I indulged in an evening on a long walk with a friend solving all of lifes problems like girls tend to do, spent an evening with my Mom chatting about life, showing her my classroom and running some errands together, got to hang out with a friend who I haven't had much contact with in the past 5 months and caught up like we had never missed a beat, and spent an evening with the three greatest girls I have ever known- ones who know me in and out, know who I am, and love me just the way I am.

And my head hit the pillow last night feeling so dang lucky for all the people that God has placed in my life. I feel like a new person this morning. Less stressed about the things to come, ready to take on the world because I know I have an army of lovely human beings by my side who will literally and emotionally help me through every step of the way. How so gracious I am.

Speaking of great friends- my three lovely best friends somehow agreed to come help me tape-up my classroom last night to prepare it for paint. In the midst of the listening to music, laughing, chatting and taping the hours flew and the taping was finished pain-free. Really. Great. Friends. I'm sure that taping off a room wasn't their idea of the most fun thing to do, but they willingly joined me, and helped relieve a lot of stress by just getting that done. We also decided to delve into the edging of the bottom half of my room, so I currently have a really messy classroom in which 3/4 of the bottom of the walls are edged with paint. It looks interesting to say the least, but it got me really excited to see how paint is going to trasform the classroom and make it my own. I documented with some before photos of the room, and some during the edging process, and will contiue to document as it continues to change into a colorful center for learning! I'm feeling the need to start that teaching blog soon to document my classroom transformation- watch for it, it will be coming!

If you are a part of my life- even in the least of ways- I want to say thank you for filling my heart with joy and giving me a sense of peace knowing there are so many people in the world who send thoughts and prayers my way. Know that I, too, often think of you and say a thankful prayer.

Overwhelmed and Overjoyed

I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed at the thoughts of... well, life.

While trying to be prepared to create an amazing classroom for my students, I have spent hours on Pinterest finding elaborate classroom set-ups and ideas. I love Pinterest. It's such a wonderful way to share ideas about everything and I feel like I am continually saying "Wow, what would I have done had I not known about that". It's fabulous that idea's that used to just be kept to the uber-creative are now out there for everyone to adapt. At the same time, I have been feeling like it has slightly overwhelmed my life. I find myself looking at several classrooms, homes and lives and saying "I want to do that, have that, make that, be that." and I pin it...

As I have re-looked over my Pinterest board I have found this ideal life that I have created in my mind. Everybody's super-organized, super-creative, uber-cute ideas combined into this idealistic life that I want. The ideal home, the ideal classroom, the idea lesson plans, the ideal wedding, the ides parenting strategies, tips and tricks, ideal wardrobe. I want it all, I want to do it all, and be it all- and it makes me feel so overwhelmed. How in the world am I supposed to do that?

Sometimes I feel like life would be easier if we weren't bombarded with the technology and ease-of-access to everyone else's lives. Sometimes I feel like it just contributes to our idea that our life isn't as good, or as successful or as fun or as ideal as someone else's. And now you don't even have to know the person to see their greatness. You can sign onto the computer and you are subject to millions of people who have more, make more, can do more. It's a blessing and a curse.

Don't get me wrong. You won't find me giving up Pinterest anytime soon. I feel like it has definitely added a lot of wonderfulness to my life, but there are times when I feel as though I am so completely in over my head and could never possible create the perfect life that I have created via Pinterest boards.

Relational.

I read a really great article this morning called "50 Ways to Inspire Your Husband". Hold the comments- I'm aware that I don't have a husband, but this article was so informative that I decided it was a must save for my future life. What it really did, though, is make me think a lot about why we are here, what it takes to have successful relationships, and what our purpose in life is.

We are relational beings. Whether we're loners, have a select group of friends, or are social butterflies who make contact with everyone we meet- we need relation with other human beings. It's the way we were created, it's how we are wired.

We, however, have a choice about the type of relationship we are going to keep with each person we welcome into our lives. Are going to love them, hate them, use them, uplift them? What are we going to do with the people who are walking along side us in this life.

For me it is about being the best I can be for each of those people. At times, my best may not measure up, it may not come close to the intention that the relationship was created for, and it may just fail- but deep down in my heart I have a yearning desire to be the best- wife, mom, teacher, friend- I can possibly be. I find myself continually reading books and articles, watching other's relationships and adjusting my sail accordingly. I believe that I have been put on this earth not to make more difficult the walk of others, but to enhance their path. And if I can, to make the way a little more desirable for them.

And- after reading an article about the importance of a color scheme in a classroom (no more than 3 colors are recommended in a single classroom setting, who would have known?)- I've decided what I'm going to do with my classroom. Or at least I've finally got a basis for what I'm going to build the rest of my decor around... Drum roll please... Green, Purple and Yellow. After a lot of thinking and experimenting with different colors, I have decided that those three are the most gender neutral, they're fun but not cliche, they're still within the color wheel so they're not hard to find and I just really like the combo. I'm excited to start doing it up!

Summer is in full swing. Back to my summer nanny job. Fried already. Looking forward to concerts and barbecues and lakes country and sun and friends.

What matters?

Don't strive to make your presence noticed, just your absence felt.

In a world that tells us to work hard, and work harder. To be the best, and then be better. To be the prettiest, and the nicest, and the smartest and the greatest. A world that continually tells us if you just had this, or owned this, or made this you'd be successful. In a world that emphasizes that we must put 100% of our energy into 100% of our commitments 100% of the time, we find that we can never keep up, let alone live up. Expectations surround us. People need us, want us, use us, abuse us- and everyone we come in contact with thinks that we should be giving out all to them. In a world where technology allows us to be reached morning, noon and night. Where if we don't check our e-mail over the weekend, our inbox has 100 new e-mails, all of which are the most important e-mail. In today's continually-demanding society, we must strive for balance. We must have a set of priorities and values and pre-set boundaries so that we don't get sucked into the me, me, me society that says it isn't okay to be selfish and take care of ourselves. 

No matter where you look you'll find that money matters- looks matter- material possessions matter. And in your head you will believe it. How can't you believe it, the world has been raising you with that mentality. You'll wish you had more money, you'll wish you had more stuff, you'll wish you were prettier, or smarter, or had someone else's job, someone else's house, someone else's children, someone else's life. It'll happen.

It's a sad, sad story. But it's the story of our lives. 

Lately I've been making a conscious choice that what is going to be important in my life will not be measured by the standards of this world. My salary, my house, my car, my job, my children's success, my husbands success... It will not be measured by what this world says is successful, important, worthy.

I'm here for a purpose, and a reason, and my life story is exactly the way it's supposed to be. The most important components of my life- love, gratitude, generosity, empathy, patience, faithfulness, hard work- those cannot be measured by the standards set by this world.  But at the end of my life, they will be what matters most.

What will make your absence felt, not your presence noticed? Who will feel your absence, not what will feel your absence. Is your life demonstrating that? Is your life striving towards that?

I'm trusting God to shape my heart to be a person who doesn't conform to the standards and successes of this world.

Inspired.

I got to see a really, really good friend last night that I hadn't seen in far too long. We laughed, we chatted, we hugged, we screamed, we talked about our lives, but most importantly we just got to enjoy each others company. Something we hadn't done in a long time- and it was wonderful.

And it got me to thinking. Really great people inspire you to be really great. Being in their presence inspires you to live life a little more happy. To accept your circumstances, and your blessings and your curses and to laugh about them, take them head on, and tell yourself this is my life, my one and only, beautiful and crazy and messed up and wonderful life. This. Is. It.

And what an inspiration it is to be in the presence of someone who makes you feel like you really can take life head on, no matter what circumstances life throws at you. It's really great to have a friend, or multiple friends, who give you that sense- that perspective on life.

And while we're talking about being inspired. How about the Fargo Marathon this weekend. That event is just so wonderful. People of literally all shapes, sizes, ages and backgrounds come out, and they set their minds to doing something, and they do it. And sitting at the finish line watching those peoples' dreams become reality is truly inspiring. How wonderful it is to be a part of something like that. I went to the kids mile run on Thursday night, and there are children, small, young children who are literally giving it everything they have to make it to the finish line- bound and determined to just finish the race. And then Saturday, watching the thousands upon thousands of people who are doing the exact same thing, bound and determined to just finish the race. I love it.

On that note, thank you to everyone who came out to cheer for the runners. Let me tell you, it is YOU who make the differences. It is YOU who tip the scales between finishing the race, and finishing well. It means more than you could really ever understand (until you're on the course running, being inspired by those who are on the sidelines).

Between the race, and some really wonderful people who have given me some really wonderful conversations in the past few days... I have been inspired to "run with perseverance the race marked out for me" literally and metaphorically speaking.

Saying Goodbye.

Some people despise cats, some are indifferent about cats, some tolerate cats, some love cats and some are crazy cat people. I'd say that, prior to owning the coolest cat in the world, I would have fallen somewhere between tolerating them and loving them. That was before Hootie came along.

Hootie was continually doing that to people- moving them up that scale. People who despised cats fell in love with his friendliness, his cuddliness and his way of purring his way into your lap- and heart. Many times, as a family we have talked about how Hootie might think he is a dog himself- begging, coming when you call, waiting at the door with his tail wagging. I've never met another cat quite like him.

Although I wouldn't say I am a crazy cat lady, I'm crazy about this cat. He is a lover. It doesn't matter how many times you pick him up and put him off your lap, he's right back in it purring and looking at you for more petting. Hootie's a constant. He's predictable. You know he'll be waiting outside your shut bedroom door in the morning for some love. You know he'll be at your feet if you're gathered in the kitchen, and on your lap if you're gathered in the living room. He loves to be a part of the family, and a part of the family is exactly what he was.

So it was with extreme sadness in my heart that I left my house this morning and said my final, last goodbye to Hootie. I pet his soft fur, and heard him purr one last time. I held him in my hands and I told him "You're the best they ever come, buddy." and I meant it. I've never met a more personable cat. After 12 years of healthy life, he suddenly stopped eating on Saturday, threw up a couple times on Sunday, and at the vet on Monday they said his kidneys were failing and that he'd have to put down, today he will make his final journey in the car, and he'll live on in our hearts.

Pets become a part of our families. We fall in love with them, and they love us back- unconditionally, whole-heatedly and without fail. They don't let us down. They don't easily anger (at least Hootie didn't, he tolerated absolutely anything), and they excitedly anticipate our arrival, our cuddles and our attention.

I'm trying to keep it all in perspective- I know, afterall, that my family is healthy, my friends are healthy, and there are many, many people in worse off situations then my own. By I can't help brokenheartedly write about the memories of an unconditional best friend.

I love you Hootie. Thanks for being the best animal-friend a person could ever ask for.

Kids.

Remember the last post when I said that kids continually keep you laughing. Well, I couldn't have set myself up better, because today was one of those days. I laughed. I laughed hard. Multiple times. 

"Did you know we're starting to get poor again?"

"You are?"

"Yeah, we don't have hot dogs or whipped cream."

"We're going to get a dog someday when Riley learns how to not cry when it dies."

Oh what a joy it is.